I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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