So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
