i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
