Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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