Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
