they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
