I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
