Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
