sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
