you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
