Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
