even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
