The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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