if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
