He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
