I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
You took a bar mat shot.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
As shirtless as possible
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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