What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
