four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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