the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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