I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
