Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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