he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
