Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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