he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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