there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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