I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
do herpes really smell.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
