that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
