it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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