Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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