i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
