Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
