He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize