Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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