no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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