i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
There's always time for handjobs
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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