Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
