Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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