Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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