I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
