it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
