There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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