Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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