I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
