No more Irish car bombs ever.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Randomize