I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
