I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
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