his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
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Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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