i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Randomize
