I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Damn victory sex feels great