I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?