Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now