I wish I could teleport
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
