u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
