But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Randomize
