direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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