You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize