I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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