I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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