I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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