Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
