I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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