OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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