okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
it's like heaven, but drunker
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
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