A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize
