dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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