I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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