dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
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