rhymes with "ouble enetration"
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
