he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
