there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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