i would punch a child for taco bell
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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