Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
