I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
