So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
